So, last week was Ella's first day at Nannie's house. I only left her for 3 hours, and she had plenty of milk I had saved up. I knew Aidan would be there with her, and I trust Nannie entirely with my children. Still, there's something about leaving that new baby that first time....
Anyway, I took this right before we left the house. I couldn't have taken it any later because: 1) we were late getting there (we're always late these days!), and 2) Ella cries immediately after realizing she is being buckled into the car seat. Don't know why because she likes the car as long as it is moving.
The first day Nannie called after Ella had been there 30 minutes because I had forgotten to tell her when I last fed her. I had already had a slightly tearful conversation with Cory on the way to brunch at Susan's that day after leaving her, so I was even more stressed when Nannie called and told me Ella was crying. The girls got my mind off of it, so the rest of the short time flew by.
The next week I had a workshop 2 days, so I had to leave Ella ALL DAY Thursday. I ended up having to go to Nannie's around lunch time to see if Ellasyn would take a bottle from me. She wouldn't take one from Nannie. I got there and tried, but it turns out the kid just wasn't hungry. She was fine after that. I know Nannie takes care of my babies, and Aidan loves going there and being with his friends. Ella will get to that point too. But will I?
Being a mommy is hard work. It isn't because of the actual physical work involved (well, sometimes it is...), it is mainly due to the emotional toll that EVERYTHING seems to take on you. You seem to feel guilty about something all of the time, whether it is disciplining your child or just not spending that extra 5 minutes to read that dinosaur book for the 20th time that day. There is always something to worry about. Sometimes it is paying for college, sometimes it is that you forgot to brush his teeth, and sometimes it is worry that something will happen to you and no one can take care of those babies the way you do.
There is always something to worry about, but there is always something to be joyful about as well. I thank God every day for what He has given me.
And, of course, I ask to win the lottery. Can't hurt, right?